Have you ever thought about this?

I’ve been doing a LOT of reading during the lockdown and it occurred to me that mediators (including me!) use the word *compromise* a great deal.

But there is a big distinction between ‘compromise’ and ‘collaboration’.

Generally speaking, compromise means one party gives up something or sacrifices what they really want or need for the sake of reaching an agreement. It is a common tool used in legal settlement negotiations and often involves the application of pressure to end a dispute or be the catalyst for additional offers. While useful in some circumstances, it can result in some level of resentment, or subsequent breaches of agreed terms.

On the other hand, true collaboration can be achieved in alternative dispute resolution such as mediation. An option put might initially be a ‘no’ but there are plentiful opportunities to explore what might be a possible ‘yes’.

As Nancy Levin explains in her book, Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, it is possible to find ‘..a “both/and” agreement rather than an “either/or”. In other words, you can honour yourself and honour someone else at the same time.

I couldn’t agree more!