The next 123 example deals with conflict between neighbours.

Your neighbour has a bird aviary which seems to attract vermon. Rats and cockroaches have been coming into your yard for months, and there is a foul odour at times. You suspect the aviary isn’t cleaned out regularly. You say:

1. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the aviary. We’re struggling with pests coming over the wall and the smell is pretty foul at times. It’s making us feel sick and unhygienic. The kids and the dog are freaking out a bit and we’re not able to enjoy our backyard, especially on summer evenings.
2. Do you think you could help us out? Maybe clean it out a bit more regularly, set some traps or exterminate so we don’t need to deal with this?
3. I’m concerned that my wife will contact the council if it goes on much longer. We want things to remain friendly between us but it’s getting a bit much to handle.

Neighbour: What are you talking about? My birds are healthy and beautiful. They eat the bugs! I can’t be expected to hose it out every day when I also need to look after my wife in a wheelchair. It’ll be better when winter comes. The roaches are rampant everywhere in summertime.

Response: So sorry to hear that Narelle isn’t doing well after her fall. Look, it’s not that we dislike the birds, and we know how much you both love them. We just don’t want to live with the extras. I agree that it’s worse in summer, but it’s making us feel grotty and we really don’t want roaches coming inside or rats nesting in the roof. Can you have a think about taking some steps to address it? We’d really appreciate it and don’t want to have to take it further.

There are lots of different issues that can arise between neighbours. It’s always helpful to have options ready before having a chat. Of course, talking doesn’t always work, but in this example, at least the complaining neighbour has a fallback position ready to go if nothing changes.